Anal play tips

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From his hospital bed, he posted a selfie that has made the rounds on various queer media outlets. His cute face and no-apologies of the incident are worth cheering for, but the fact remains that many people have no clue how to handle XL — but want to try. The risks and challenges change. My name is Alexander Cheves, and I am known by friends in the kink and leather community as Beastly. I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. The views in this slideshow do not reflect those of The Advocate and are based solely off of my own experiences.

Like everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men. Those who are sensitive to frank discussions about sex are invited to click elsewhere, but consider this: If you anal play tips outraged by content that address sex openly and honestly, I invite you to examine this outrage and ask yourself whether it should instead be directed at those who oppress us by policing our sexuality. For all others, enjoy the slideshow. And feel free to leave your own suggestions of sex and dating topics in the comments.

Hungry for more? Photo by Jon Dean. Practice regularly — say, once a week — with sex toys. Insertables are sex toys deed for penetration. Start small. Once a week, lube up your toy I cover lubes in 4and gently slide it in your hole.

Anal play tips

The feeling might not be comfortable at first — keep at it. Go slow. If it starts to hurt, stop, relax, and try again. Go with what feels good. If you like sliding it in and out slowly, do that and try building speed. Once your beginner-size insertable becomes easy to take, purchase one slightly bigger, and give it a try.

Keep with that one for a bit, then go bigger. The skin in your butt is very delicate. Anal fissures happen. These are small tears in the rectrum that are usually anal play tips, but not always. Until they heal completely, anal fissures are open gateways for sexually transmitted infections like HIV. Whenever you come to a moment of discomfort, stop and take slow, deep breaths.

Feel your muscles relax and adjust to the size. This process works. This process is the same way people train for more extreme assplay and fisting. You cannot train the throat to open much more than it can.

Anal play tips

You can train to minimize your gag reflex, and that is best done with a patient partner. The risk of choking yourself — getting something stuck in your airway — is not worth it. Have your partner stay still. Slide his anal play tips along the roof of your mouth slowly to the back of your throat. See how far you can comfortably go. Breathe through your nose. You may find it more comfortable to slide his dick to the left side.

Try both sides to see which works better. At moments of discomfort, pause, breathe through your nose, and see if you can go further. Take breaks and stop when you want to stop. Do this on your knees while looking up at the ceiling, or — even better, but more intimidating — lie on your back with your head hanging slightly off the edge of the bed, so that your throat is aligned with your mouth, and have him slowly enter.

Chugging beer or any kind of liquid requires you to engage the same throat muscles as deep-throating. I recommend training with small, smooth butt plugs. Basic, simple shapes without many ridges, bumps, or extra features work best. Classic rocket-shaped or teardrop-shaped butt plugs are great — anything that gently tapers from a wider, rounded section to a narrow one. Many of these are not deed for anal. Keep this in mind: A dildo is essentially a cylinder. A cylinder will open your ass to a certain diameter and keep it there. In contrast, anal play tips rounded object like a butt plug forces your hole to stretch open and close, and is better for training yourself to experience — and enjoy — the stretch.

I got better at bottoming when I took a small butt plug about four inches in circumference and slowly slid it in, waited, and slid it out again. I stuck with this rhythm: in, pause, out. Gradually I built speed and tried larger and larger plugs. That said, some silicone lubes are safe with silicone toys. Because silicone reacts with silicone, you should never leave two silicone toys touching in storage.

After using, wash thoroughly with warm, soapy water, towel dry, and wrap each one individually in a bag, towel, or sock. Keep them in a dry, cool place, away from direct sunlight, and never touching — ever. Since it can be difficult to remember what your toys are made of, this is good care practice for all sex toys. I generally avoid plastics, since I try to limit the of toxins that go in my body. High-grade, soft silicone and thick, heavy glass make the best sex toys.

The great thing about premium silicone is that it varies so much in softness and hardness. While many people are intimidated by glass, glass is actually a great material to use. Take care of your glass insertables and inspect them every time for cracks and dings.

Anal play tips

A solid glass butt plug is friction-free, meaning your skin will not have friction against it and will stretch around it more gently. I told him what happened and since then when we decide to hook up or whatever he is a lot less rough. He told me he felt so bad. This is the kind of top you want to be. I learned to love butt plugs with a partner. When you put the toys away, put your water-based lube away. Use silicone-based lube for sex if your partner is well-endowed. Water-based lube dries up quickly and does not have that silky, velvety slickness that silicone lube possesses.

Yes, silicone is very messy. Silicone makes monster meat much easier to take. Pro tip: Look for condensed silicone. Condensed, thick silicone is commonly found in silicone lubes made explicitly for anal sex. Sitting on top lets it anal play tips at your speed. Breathe slowly and work your way down. Avoid these altogether.

Anal play tips

Pain happens for a reason — it alerts your mind that there is an injury or potential for injury happening somewhere in your body. Pain is how you keep yourself safe. Proper training is about working through pain and discomfort to discover the pleasure on the other side. Avoid this stuff for the same reasons mentioned in the last slide. Numbing anal lubes are pretty easy to find at your local sex shop or online. Again, pain is good.

They are still sold in the United States today. Poppers have a relaxing effect on smooth muscle tissue throat tissue, anal tissuewhich is why so many gay men use them — especially for larger dicks and more extreme assplay and fisting. In the United States, poppers are packaged as room deodorizers or video head cleaner to avoid antidrug laws.

I see them as a reward for stretching naturally, a third-act tool to amplify sex after the stretching and training work is done. This is how injuries happen. You can badly hurt them. I no longer use condoms, but when I did, I made sure to always keep the right size — condoms that fit the dicks Anal play tips wanted to take. Since I have a mild latex allergy, I used Skyn Large. Skyn was the first nonlatex brand to make condoms for XL anatomy. For folks with an allergy, these condoms offer just as much protection against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections as standard latex condoms.

Whether you have a fantasy of getting aggressively skullfucked or drilled hard in the ass for hours, you still need some warmup. You can achieve these dreams with practice and patience, but not without putting in the work. In porn, stars are naturally prepared and ready to go rough. You never see the initial stretching, ass training, stops anal play tips starts, mishaps, or years of practice.

You never see when someone simply needs a break — those get edited out. Porn cuts all the real stuff that real people do in sex — the mishaps and messes that make it wonderful. You cannot — and should not — try to imitate porn. Not even porn stars can imitate porn. Skipping the experience of slowly getting into sexual hepace and loosening up the body will result in lackluster sex.

I went to my first large fisting party last year. It was overwhelming — there were two floors of guys dancing on a dance floor, with fisting scenes happening against every wall and to the side. Fuck benches, slings, and other sex furniture lined the walls. On my way downstairs, I met a tall, handsome daddy wearing full leather.

We cruised each other. I looked at his hands — they were huge. No expectations. Let me just play with your butt. That sounded OK to me, so I climbed in a sling.

Anal play tips

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